just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
