Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
