Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
