Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
