I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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