i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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