Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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