and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
