No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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