did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
