I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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