are you still at the devil's house?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
