You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
