Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
