Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I need moral support for this bender
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
40s are totally the cure
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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