Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
