He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
