No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
