If i come over, it means nothing
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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