i already hear my dad disowning me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
