my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Farmville is her only friend.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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