You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
