Kiss
Puke
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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