alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
