I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
