why didn't you poke me back
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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