I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
