Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
