Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
