well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
