She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When are your genitals available?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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