That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
