Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
