guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
