I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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