thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
