how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Terrible idea I love it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
