I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
