Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
