Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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