I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
