Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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