you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
be right there i have to get my cape
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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