Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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