So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
