He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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