i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
