I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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