Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
