Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
