I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Randomize
